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Best Bikes of New Orleans, Jan 2018.

A week in New Orleans to attend the Society for Historical Archaeology annual conference. It was the coldest week in ages and that simple shivery fact shaped everything–including the frozen yard fountains. I accept that many of the best bikes might not have been out and ready for me to see and review. Most of my time was in the French Quarter at Cafe Envie–my fave NOLA spot. But the walking back and forth allowed ample time to see what cyclists had to share. There were lots of bikes, but mostly meh. Riding is not a priority here–perhaps because one should be sober while navigating traffic. Philadelphia was a smorgasbord, true, but I had higher hopes for New Orleans than the po’boy it turned out to be. Never the less, I found five I happily would have ridden off with if asked (my standard for judgement).

NUMBER FIVE: Sticker Mixer.2018-01-02 14.34.16-1

Hmmmm. I know you. You are a Dawes cheapy fixie. I know this because there is one in my living room. These are not too bad, but the components are not delectable. This one is pretty stock (even the silly bars, crap seat post, and garbage bar tape), but with after-market wheels. But–Dawes makes a fine beater and the stickers on the white have some panache. How does this make a discerning list though? Chalk it up to how desperate for speed I was after seeing dozens of depressing department store mountain bikes! It was that bad.

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NUMBER FOUR: The Bars Are Open.2018-01-02 19.13.39

Someone is from the Northeast (or has a computer). Unbadged big sticker steel. Sugino cranks horrible horrible horrible saddle, and those bars. I dunno, I’m sorry. Can there be a hipsterhood of one? Front end brake means Mr Bars is going careful fixie, and that is special here.

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NUMBER THREE: Hidden Wisdom.2018-01-02 13.02.16

Do I know you? I see what you are doing though–and I LOVE It. Mercier Kilo TT is a nice cromoly frame with good goodies stock–a well regarded affordable ride. BMX pedals in terrible colors make me happy. Bull horns are never my faves, but ok, I won’t judge. Natural color Brooks B-17 tops it off and shows that you, my friend, know exactly what you are doing with your sticker bomb. Air kisses!

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NUMBER TWO: Oldies are Goodies.2018-01-06 19.18.13

I saw little vintage steel that was not depressing dreck. Here is an exception. Unbadged, so, search me for what it is. did not look closely, but a convesin from a road bike obviously. Shimano 600 cranks (?) and older 105 front calipers–again, a rider that is looking to see the view from over the bars–which, BTW, look great in the raw. Mismatched tires just makes me so happy too. I am too timid to do it moi meme, but here is a tip: label match the tires to the valves, and you will be doing cool in a big time way, babydoll!

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NUMBER ONE: Class. Photo Jan 07, 12 26 49

Yes. I know. A comparable Cinelli bike made Number Five in Philly and here it is Number One in New Orleans. That is mean, I know. I really do. But let me defend it. This is a Gazetta, which I submit is far hotter bike than the older Philly ride. Now–look a bit closer. No brakes, old school toe clips, black Origin 8 cranks in a “spin me baby” sub 40T variation, hardshell old ride saddle, 110mm stem, and, wait for it…New Orleans’s only pair of skin wall tires, and  in juicy 28mm to boot. See what I mean? Not too shabby. And in context? Magic!

Take a look at the delicious Cinelli details on the seat tube and the logo. Class. I could snap that crap kryptonite U with baguette, but hey, if Dude is not worried, then I am not either. Like I said, it pays to be sober.

Photo Jan 08, 01 03 58

Duel (1971) As Environmental Parable

I happened upon a 1971 made for TV movie called Duel. I was looking for something else, but the film caught my eye. It starred Dennis Weaver and was Stephen Spielberg’s film directing debut. The story and screenplay were written by Richard Matheson who had published a short story version in Playboy earlier that year and had a considerable CV including Twilight Zone notches on his belt. duelThe whole thing was filmed in two weeks for $450,000 before an ABC TV broadcast on November 13, 1971. I asked around and quite a few friends had not only seen and recalled the film, but more than a few quite fondly remembered it.

Good—they should. The movie is great. Since this entry is going to ruin the ending, best to go ahead and watch it quickly before reading on. I’ll wait, it is on YouTube ….Done? Ok, good.

So, recap. Weaver plays David Mann, a salesman driving through the California desert to get to a sale. He drives a bright red Plymouth, and a few commenters noted that the car itself is a sort of co-star. Early on we learn that Mann and his wife are having a rough time, but that is all for background. Spielberg later said he wanted Weaver to play Mann because Weaver had a flare for portraying anxiety on screen.

While winding and twisting on the roads, Mann finds himself stuck behind a hulking late model fuel truck. It is a dusty dirty rattly behemoth anticipating the vehicular cast of Road Warrior. The truck has the  word “flammable” just visible through the grime. The truck belches out oily smoke which flows into Mann’s car. He coughs and wipes his hair and utters the awkward line, “talk about pollution!” Finally, Mann sees his line, and passes the truck. Spielberg makes sure we can hear the thundering engine and rattling panels as the camera passes by. So far so good. But soon, the truck suddenly passes Mann, and now the two are locked in game of road rage on an epic scale. Feature-Schober-Image-5-750x400Mann soon realizes that his nemesis is out for more than lane space as the truck tail gates him at close to 100 miles per hour, rams his rear bumper, and even tries to shove the stopped Plymouth into the passing cars of a train at a railroad crossing. The truck even tries to kill Mann while he is in a phone booth and stalks him in all ways. Spielberg said he was very much influenced by Hitchcock and followed the ‘less is more’ approach. For example, we never see the truck’s driver—the monster is seemingly autonomous—an effect that only heighten stress an alienation. We see the driver’s boots in one scene, his arm waving Mann (unknown to him of course) into on coming traffic, and his face ever so faintly and quickly in a rear view mirror once (perhaps an accident). The overall effect is an ever more anxious Weaver/Mann battling a nameless faceless non-human machine clearly out to kill him for no discernable reason.

Critics, and Spielberg himself, all talked about how this was an allegory of man’s battle with technology. Our own machines are trying to kill us and we are seemingly helpless to stop them. In this case Mann (get it?…!) is alone in the desert. David (get it? …. David!) is battling his own mechanical Goliath. But as we all know, David wins, and in this case, in the end, Mann triumphs over machine. The theme is pretty obvious and all clear and intended and stated outright.

But I saw Duel also as having a different level of meaning in this age of climate change. 1971 was just before the great gas crisis that altered the overall discussion about gas consumption. Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring was almost ten years old, and this was the year that the Keep America Beautiful organization first aired its now legendary “Crying Indian” ad featuring Iron Eyes Cody. People_Start_Pollution_-_1971_AdThe mid-sixties saw an awareness that “smog” and car exhaust were linked and an increase in urban temperature inversions led to tightening of emissions standards and a stated need to clean the air. 1963 Clean Air Act, the Motor Vehicle Air Pollution Act of 1965, and the 1967 Air Quality Act all worked towards that goal, and the 1970 creation of the Environmental Protection Agency all show the increasing awareness that something was very wrong. When Mann says “talk about pollution” he was not the only one who was. But at the time, most Americans would have understood pollution as smoke and trash—a mess and a health hazard. Few if any would have thought about climate in the broadest sense, let alone permanent and irreversible change to the planetary climate system. Indeed, it would still be six years before Exxon would learn about, and begin to cover up, the links between gasoline and the climate.

So, along comes Speilberg and makes a movie about Man/Mann at war for his life with a machine. But look again–gasoline is the peril–not just machines. First off, it is significant that the truck is itself a fuel truck (notice too, the parallel in the words “Duel” and “Fuel”). With its hidden driver, it is gasoline itself that is pursing Mann and trying to kill him. The fuel is also, as it is in nature, covered in dirt but delivered only by noisy machinery. The menacing word “flammable” on the truck’s back and side of course is a harbinger of danger, but it also is an illusion to heat—for us, a warming planet. At one point, truck/gasoline tries to push Mann into the passing train. In this scene, three forms of transportation are all in juxtaposition. Mann is on his Plymouth—the personal transport fit for a Pilgrim–what can be more American? Gasoline tries to kill Mann, but the more fuel-efficient train steadfastly rolls by oblivious to the drama at its side.

Finally, Mann’s battered Plymouth’s engine overheats and the oil is all gone. We watch as liquid and smoke pour of the slowing car and Weaver puts in that angst performance that Spielberg wanted him for. As Mann climbs a hill with the truck in hot pursuit, the Plymouth ceases to be a gasoline-powered vehicle (in two shots the fuel gauge says empty but in a subsequent one the red needle points to F). duel-1971-dennis-weaver-killer-truck-steven-spielberg-first-filmAs soon as Mann crests the hill, his now gas-free unpowered car can coast in neutral and at dangerously high speed down the other side and only then the distance he needs. At the base of the hill, after a small wreck, and a hairpin turn, the Plymouth uses the last of its power to get up a road, and, with the help of Mann’s briefcase pressed on to the gas pedal, is slammed into by the truck (Mann having leapt out already). Gasoline and the car then careen over a handy cliff. Mann ultimately is only saved from death when he frees himself from the car and from gasoline, and when he frees himself from gasoline, the peril ends, and he is safe. True, he is also alone in the desert without a car, and the end of gasoline has dramatically changed Mann’s world, but the immediate peril is gone. The car and gasoline have driven him to a world of deadly heat and empty valleys, but at least he is alive. This is climate change. 

I don’t think any of this analysis was intentional, but it is all there. The man vs, machine theme is unmistakable and the path is set for Jaws which is really a very similar film. But Duel also makes a great environmental parable too. Now I have to watch Jaws again.

Man Plans. God Laughs Tour, 2017. London, Ohio. 

Riding the ACA Chicago-New York Bicycle Route. 

Trigger Warning! A flying insect of some variety dies a strange and horrible death. Those with delicate dispositions or a rather wide definition of animal cruelty might want to read elsewhere where the text is rather less vomitorius (if such a word exists).

Ohio is great! Yay Ohio–you kick ass. So much of this state is graced with rail trails that I think I have done more miles off the roads than on them. That is remarkable considering that Missouri was all rail trail and the whole way from Pittsburgh to DC will be car free. I am surprised that anyone even bothers with Kentucky with its cars and hills and dogs–just come up to Ohio where it is flat, 72 degrees, and possessed of a gentle tail wind. In short, the state has thus far has been a perfect ride. Perfect that is in all respects saving one, as I shall now relate. To begin with, let me clarify something. Riding all day is relentlessly physical. Body parts become very much components of machine that is focused on one thing–turning energy into forward motion. Food becomes elemental and primarily about the kind of reward each item offers. Sugar means energy jolts, carbohydrates are slow release energy, protein is maintenance, and roughage keeps the system clear. More than anything else, vegitables appeal, although V8 and orange juice are much prized. Also, potato chips–a worthless food if ever there as one, is a frequent friend I think mainly for the salt. Gels and cycling food are always on hand too, but mostly as emergency rocket fuel. The goal of it all though is to keep the legs moving and keep that whole neck of the body’s woods working with the most efficiency and least pain possible. At home I have an ideal place–my cycling happy zone. That is at 90 pedal rotations per minute holding at a speed of 21 MPH in ideal conditions. To do that I generally keep my gearing at 50/18 or so. In cycling jargon, this high rate of “cadence” (rotations per minute) is called “spinning” and it seeks to use the power of the legs with minimum muscle fatigue. Heart rates go up and so does wind capacity. This in fact is one the main benefits of cycling and as I have gotten more serious as a rider, my resting heart rate has dropped dramatically–it was at 50 when I last checked and once it was a bit lower. When one finds one’s sweet spot, one can ride there all day. And that is what I have been doing out here–trying to nail down that ideal place–that perfect combination of gears and terrain that will allow the most efficient spinning. Out here, on a loaded touring bike, that seems to be a gearing of 44/24 on the flats and dropping the front ring down to 32 on sharp inclines. Ohio though has been efficiency heaven and making 75 miles or so a breeze. When this happens, the whole leg system goes on auto pilot and just does its job.

Now comes the part where the trigger warning applies. Riding can be a breeze, but breezes, gusts, zephyrs, and various vents are still out there. The horrible jockeys I left behind in Kansas are a distant memory, but the air still moves even here. On this day, riding along happily on a one such gentle zephyr was a medium sized winged beastie. I am sure he rode the air from destination to destination, using its patterns to save his own energy–in his way, he was, like me, spinning, having a lovely day, and feeling in a general good way about the blue sky, the intermittent clouds, and the pleasant temperature. He had every thing to live for, and all of his two or three week life span in which to do it. Up he floated. Down he dived. Buffeted and blustered–not a care in the world. But, like the terrible gust that filled the sails of the ill-fated man-o-war Vasa as King Gustavus Adolphus and all of 1620s Stockholm watched in horror, one preternaturally strong gale (for indeed, at his size it must have seemed a gale) caught him and pushed him to a terrible fate.

I wear sunglasses when riding because I once caught a bug in the eye. Each bit of cycling kit has to prove its worth to me before I buy it, and sunglasses did that job years ago. Sadly though, there are no sunglasses for the mouth. I did once ride along the Potomac at dusk and found the bugs so bad, that I tied a bandana to my face, bandito style and rode on looking as stupid as Martin Landau in a silver-trimmed sombrero. I wore no such bandana today though. Nor a sombrero. There was no time to dodge or react. The bug flew into my mouth before I even knew it was there–such was the wind it rode. I knew right away what it was and was suitably horrified. A host of religious and physical objections make a swallowed bug a horrid thought, and so I immediately began the logical removal procedures. The brain took over. The legs stayed steady at at a high cadence and about 16 MPH. Step one was that raspy throat clear that precedes most dramatic spitting, The idea here is to reverse all downward throat movement and transform swallowing into expelling before an irreversible process begins. I can only guess what the bug was thinking, but there is something singularly disconcerting about autonomous uninvited mouth guests. The intial hack though did not seem to do the job, and I had to do that delicate operation whereby one checks one’s throat, but in such a way so as to keep everything very still. I could tell the bug was still there, and–still holding at 16 MPH–began Plan B: water. The water was intended to flush the bugger out while being very careful to not wash him down. Only in the most desperate of circumstances is the long wet swallow the way to deal with a bug. It can happen that the little rascal can get so lodged mid-throat that no hacking and rattling can dislodge him. In that terrible moment, the only way out is down, as much water as possible must be used to flume the creature down to the stomach acids that await all who venture too far down under. I was determined not to come to that crossroad, and I could tell that the bug was still as yet not committed–the battle was not lost. Not yet at least. I leaned right and reached down for my bottle, and that is when a wonderful thing happened–a joyous, delightful, and most welcome thing indeed. The legs were doing their job keeping the whole train in motion and making good time. The throat was on silent running and was doing all it could to freeze all activity in place. The hand was reaching, and the brain was controlling the whole procedure. “Slowly” it said, “careful…care-ful” it cautioned. And then, the cavalry showed up–like a miscast Martin Landau, the stomach kicked into gear. “Don’t worry boys, I got this one” it said, and with no warning at all, it heaved out a full bottle of orange juice I had propitiously quaffed a few miles back in Cedarville. The propulsive power of the orange juice forced out all that was in its way, and in a second, and with no nausea whatsoever, the bug was gone. It was nothing short of miraculous. The sudden and wholey unexpected reaction truly impressed me–and as the snail said after being mugged by a gang of turtles –it all just happened so fast! There really as no warning sign at all–just a body system working to its full potential with each part performing its tasks perfectly. I salute you stomach. 

There was a downside though. Sadly, my reach the right was not quite completed when the stomach took matters into its own hand, with the result that significant portions of the front of my bike and bags bore the worst of the incident. Still holding at 16 MPH though, I took my water bottle and sprayed down the bars and bags. Then I took a second bottle and did it again. A few miles later there was a water fountain where I filled the bottles and did a few more spray downs. Soon there was no trace left of what had transpired. In a way, that saddened me. I had a lot to be proud of. After all–even King Gustavus Adolphus had to watch in helpless horror when wind threatened to ruin his afternoon. Maybe if the collective stomachs of Stockholm had reacted with the speed and efficiancy as did mine, well, who knows, Vasa might have been saved and all her crew too. They had plenty of water on hand to clean up with too. 

Spare a thought though for the poor innocent bug just living life on a breeze. They say orange juice will keep you from getting sick. For me, that is a yes and a no. But for the bug–well, he would have been better off on a day without sunshine.  

Man Plans, God Laughs Tour, 2017. Richmond, Indiana.

Riding the ACA Chicago to New York Bicycle Route

Rain. I sit under a picnic shelter on the Cardinal Greenway just outside of Muncie, Indiana. Had I thought more clearly about the rain, I could be sitting in a Starbucks in town and would be a mite more comfortable. I am back in the east now–or at least the eastern Midwest–and am now again but confronting that solid gray sky that can drop water on you for hours at a time. I really hate rain. Let me say that once more–I really hate rain. There is almost no other weather I like less. When I was up in Virginia I took the cold there (20 degrees of so in the winter) as a challenge. I layered up and built up a pretty good cold weather kit. Merino wool underlayers, breathable outer layers, insulating shoe covers, lobster mittens, even ski goggles (these were indeed very silly looking but made a huge difference in facing the wind). You see, riding creates wind according to the speed at which one rides–that makes a standing 20 degrees considerably colder while riding. On top of that, I rode a lot after dark–in the coldest parts of the day. But gear was my friend and I faced the cold bravely. But rain is a totally different enemy. There really is nothing one can do to confront it other than find a picnic awning and wait. If I wear my rain coat, then I will get soaked from the inside out. If I don’t wear it I will get wet and cold from the outside in. I am not too worried about my gear–I feel pretty confident about the waterproof quality of my Ortlieb panniers and handle bar bag. But I am a rain wimp and so the wetness and the drippyness just makes me miserable. So, hello wooden able, concrete floor, and roof–you are my humble shelter while the mean clouds do their worst.  

The last few days have been devoted more to visiting than to riding. Xander and I finished the Chicago leg of the trip a few days ago and we rode right up to his family’s door. The ride there was 50/50. We had a very pleasant night under canvas in Morris Illinois and then shot north. More of the corn-lined Illinois roads as we made out way to Oswego. The repetition of the Upstate New York Iroquois names all over the place gives me a constant double take. Oswego though was very close to the start of the Fox River trail–a riverside paved bike path that would take us up to the roads that would lead to Xander’s home. We soon set off on the trail and it was very nice–very much like the Mount Vernon Trail and was full of little ups and downs and tight turns, The main thing I noticed though was that the river was fast moving and high. The next thing I noticed was the police baracade and the sign saying “Trail Flooded.” Of course we ignored the sign and pushed on. In this case all we really had to do was walk or ride through some sodden grass and we were fine. The next time we saw one of these signs though, the result was not so happy. The whole basin before was part of the Fox River and there was no way around. In retrospect, the best idea would have been to wade through, get wet, and carry on with the dry part of the trail. Instead though, we turned to google maps and its bicycle route feature. We have used this quite a bit and to good effect. Xander set his phone so that Google would interrupt his music and tell him when a turn was coming up–we called this “the voices in his head” and more than a few times refered to knowing where we were going thanks to the voices in Xander’s head. Reaction to this were mixed when we told others of out unique navigation strategy. Once we had decided to leave the logical bike friendly (though submerged) trail, Google got pissy. “The Fox River Trail is the way to go” the voices told us. “Yes but it is now a maritime trail–a kayak run” we said. “Ok” said Google. “I will make a new route for you, but you won’t like it.” The voices were right. We did not like it. To save time, I will now list the kinds of surfaces our route did not take us over. Molten lava, salt flats, sand dunes, mounded human corpses, permafrost. Everything else though we pretty much had to deal with. Honestly–you have no idea how much the automobile has shaped and distorted our landscape until you try to get somewhere without one. Roads without shoulders, crappy glass and poop strewn paths, high speed corners, and more. These were all roads I would never touch if I did not have to. And everytime we appealed to the Voices all they could say was “sorry, I told you to go on the Fox River Trail, but no, YOU had to leave it! YOU had to be creative. Now YOU have to deal with it.” In the end though we made it to Xander’s house in fair shape and his pleased family got to see exactly the kind of sun tan one gets on a recumant. What followed was a very sweet welcome home to the prodigal son and his grizzled companion, and it was wonderful to meet his immediate and extended family. They were all very grateful that I had riden up with him, but in truth, he was more than capable of being on his own. But at the same time, I fully understand where they were coming from parentally speaking, and their collective warmth and welcome were touching in the extreme. Thank you all. 

Soon though I was off and in Indiana to spend Saturday with another grad school friend, this time in Muncie, Indiana. Again–more time spent with great folks to whom I am immensely grateful. Stacy prepared fresh vegetables from the local farmers’ market and Dan and I spent a considerable amount of time in the company of Martin Landau, who displayed a remarklable ability to be miscast. 

So morning saw me head out to the Cardinal Greenway Rail Trail taking me about 40 miles down to Richmond Indiana. Cardinal is a great trail–paved, straight, level, and with good amenities. I started writing this under a shelter, but I finish it in a Starbucks in Richmond getting ready to cross into Ohio. It rained most of the ride. I progressed this way. Ignore it. Put down my cap’s brim to keep the rain out of my eyes. Stop–put on my rain coat since my arms are cold. I can feel my socks getting wet. Stop again–try to pull my rain coat hood over my helmet. Feel the puddles in my shoes. Just keep riding. That really is almost always the answer–just keep riding, I am listening to George Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London. It is great stuff and what he describes is far more depressing that riding in the rain. The antisemitism is a bit thick and it is bad to tell if Orwell is just relating it or endorsing it. Oh well, at least this Jew is not having to swindle a Russian waiter or trying to sell his daughter into prostitution–nor will he have to portray a Mexican bandito or German elephant trainer turned villian. Rain seems a small problem by comparison. One of Orwell’s friends though did complain about an American hotel guest who did not want full French meals and instead asked only for Grape Nuts, scrambled eggs, and hot coacoa in his room. Ummm…. I had to rack my brain to recall if I had visited Paris in the interwar years. I am pretty sure it was not me. 

Man Plans, God Laughs Tour, 2017. Leaving Pueblo arriving Ordway Co.

Riding the ACA Trans-America Bike Route.

The off-the-bike week of responsible parenting has ended, I saw Rami off on a flight from Denver and he was home in 5 hours. It took some wrangling to make it all happen but it worked and I got to see Denver and Colorado Springs as well as Pueblo–my Eastern Colorado Trifecta. Tears were shed and many hugs and loving cuddles as well. Rami was sad to go, but he was being very mature in wanting to split his summer, and he deserves much credit for all the hard riding he did. This was not as long a tour as last year’s but each mile this year was five times as hard as one on last year’s ride. There are miles, and then there are miles. These were the latter kind.

The hero of the week though is, and specifically Gordon at Bikeflights. There was lots to ship home and Fed Ex wanted 210 bucks to take Rami’s bike to Tampa. I was livid since I have had bikes shipped to me for as little as 45 bucks. UPS said 210 and the post office said perhaps as little as 150. It took a while and a prompt from Sarah, who had to endure me screaming into the phone about being trapped in Pueblo, capitalism, and my own stupidity–not in that order. But then Bikeflights–dear sweet professional understanding Bikeflights wafted into the story like a calm gentle breeze. In no time at all I was back at Fed Ex, this time with a Bikeflights shipping labels which had cost 65 bucks and the Surly was on the way to Tampa. Use this company! I have no idea how they make money–I think they are operating on a Manna from Heaven business model, but like the Manna, they are heaven sent. I don’t think they taste of coriander or whatever food you want them to be like the original though, (look it up–it is in Shemot, which I think in English is Exodus–second book at any rate).

So, after shipping bikes and clothes, and sending off Rami, and once the Big Red Silverado was moored back in its hanger, I was free to be a cyclist once again. Incidentally, I learned on the drive to Denver that there is a sort of brotherhood of Silverado drivers–the Silveradudes, if you will. Rami was the first to notice that each Silveradude that we saw was sort of checking us out. Our’s was brand new–we got it with less than 1000 miles on it, so, yeah, brand new, dude. Rami also noticed that the newer models have squarer mirrors than did the tatty old ones–that’s right dude, square mirrors. I am not sure though that Rami and I  really fit the profile of proper Silveradudes, and on reflection, that might be why they were checking us out. Where was the gray tee shirt or plaid button down? How come no baseball caps with sunglasses on the brims? My beard might pass muster–but those silly glasses? I don’t think so! And what about Rami’s magestic mane of Semitic warrior ringlet locks anointed with scented oils? Waaaaaait a minute–something is amiss here! Better notify Silveradudes’ Central that some distinctly “ethnic” non-Marlboro man types are trying pass themselves off as vrai “gens de pickup” (or words to that effect, although my last sentence may somewhat highlight exactly the sort of issue they would be sensitive to).  We managed to evade any problems, although when some little pissant in a pimped out little car tried to steal the Short Term Parking spot we  had patiently waited for, the aforementioned pissant got a full blast of the front end of the Silverado, and some carefully chosen bons mots from the man blasting the horn. With a huge grin Rami said to me–“see, it is times like this when it shows that you are a Brooklynite.” To my recollection, I did not curse. But I did make my point using PG rated socially acceptable verbiage.

By 9am after docking the Silverado at Hertz, I was wheeling through Pueblo on my way to the turn on 4th St. That road was a bit busy, so I hopped down to 3rd and wended back. That led me to the coffeeshop there where habit made me stop. It was an oasis. Pueblo has had a hard time. Industry has left, the loss of jobs, meth, OxyContin and so on have clearly ravaged the town as have the big boxes sucking businesses out of downtown. There are a number of nice old buildings–all early 20c vintage–including a good Kress building and a great old leather shop once run by a man named Mayer, his name still in the stonework. There also are some valient well-meaning folks trying to bring life back to the old place. But it is hot, and windy, and not an easy battle to win. One local explained to me that marijuana legalization has been terrible for the city. She said that what happened was that once the state legalized, tens of thousands of dealers from all over the nation flooded the state thinking they were going to get rich quick. Of course the market was not set up in a way that would allow that, and  now all these people who had spent what they had to get to the Promised Land now found themselves no better off than they were elsewhere. Pueblo has a very low cost of living, and so in time they have flooded the city. It is no joke–there are sun tanned homeless and near homeless all over the place. It is different than Sacramento where the city seems to have just allowed tent cities to spring up here and there. In Pueblo, they are just everywhere. It is unsettling. This country has failed so many of its people.

The coffeeshop–the Solar Roast–though was a place apart–although I ended up giving one of my hard boiled eggs and some money to a guy on a bench right across the street.  People were friendly and chatty in the coffeeshop and religion again emerged as a topic. I need to write a seperate post on that, but later. For today though I scooted out of town and headed east quickly entering the plains. First impressions? LOOOOVE it! Fascinating landscape and I really wish I could have seen it in 1700. Most of the others places I have seen so far look more or less as they did then–the Sierras, Carson’s Pass, Nevada Hellscape, Utah Hellscape, Rockies and Bullwinkle, Golden Gate Park, Chinatown–all places largely the same in 1700 as today. Maybe. But this place is different. I rode and rode in what I can only call a sea of land. Sitting in Ordway late in the day, eating frozen blueberries, and talking with the local friendly old man who likes to chat, I could see the land out there and it was just like being at the beach–except the beach was a road crossing and the sea was land.  Trust me–really weird.

There is a stock auction in Ordway tomorrow and the trucks were coming in. The cattle trucks have two levels–upper and lower. I noticed they were very tall, but it was only this afternoon I realized that there were two levels with two floors. I guess I thought ranchers just stuffed cattle in to fill the space–like cabbages or Tokyo commuters. What do I know about cows? As my son pointed out–I am a Brooklynite!

Man Plans, God Laughs Tour, 2017. Salida Colorado

Riding the ACA Western Express Bicycle Route.

The Slingshot is nearly compete and we have landed in Salida, Colorado on the Arkansas River and about 7000 feet above Tampa. The drive here was fine and we all listened to and discussed a wide array of music as we went round and round with each person picking a song from their devices in turn. This made for an engaging and entertaining drive. Salida was the destination because Sam’s family had a home here that for the moment was empty. It was in fact a nice modern three story which they rent out. We quickly settled in and made use the chance to clean clothes and selves. For most of the drive we followed the ACA route. We loaded up with water bottles so that we could help hydrate anyone we saw. As it happens we saw very few cyclists. Even groups I knew were out there we did not see.

It was a mixed feeling to drive the stretch we were skipping over. Part of me feels bad for skipping the deserts and some of the harder climbs. But at the same time, most of me really does not care at all. We had a lot of soul searching and heartache when we made the call to turn back and there is no point in second guessing. What is more, seeing the temperatures reach as high as 107 in stretches of bone dry desert showed it was right to leap ahead. We came down into one valley in Colorado and it was the first time we saw flowing water since Dayton. The main groups I know of out there are supported. Indeed, I feel sure we would have been fine if we had a support truck with us. We heard that the solo guy we saw a few days earlier had been swept up by the Wounded Warriors’ party: he and his one water bottle will be fine. We also heard again and again that this was an unusual heat. So be it.

The only city on the route big enough to take the one way rental was Pueblo, so it is there we will return to riding on Monday. I would like to have returned to riding farther west, but there was no viable option. So, for now we are planted in Salida walking the streets, looking at art galleries and bike shops, watching kayakers on the Arkansas river, and hiding where we can. This is a sort of art festival this weekend so the streets are filled with mingling visitors, street musicians, and a gaggle of silver painted revelers.

I have not been able to shake a low level flu for about 4 days and it is getting on my nerves. On Friday I bought medication so here’s hoping. We are encamped at the edge of a farm on the edge of town. The couple who own the land welcome campers and have mowed out a few nice tent sites. Our’s is by a small river swollen with snow melt. One highlight is the friendly llama who pops by our camp now and again. The wind is ferocious and constant and locals tell us that both the wind’s and water’s intensities are aborations. This land has always been known for its weather extremes, and road washouts and flooded rail bridges have been causing problems here since the third quarter of the nineteenth century. But these days, it is like the climate has gone mad and no one is safe. We are on the course of the Tour Divide–a long endurance cycling ride that takes riders from Canada down to the Mexican border along the continental divide. We have seen a few of the riders and they looked beaten. One guy in a roadside convenience was in good spirits, but was pretty worn. He was talking to another rider about the rumor that one of their number had been killed the week before. Great. I wonder if that was a source for our rumor. The stories move up and down the trail and get changed a bit on the way. I have seen the same thing on every tour or hike I have done. Usually talking with fellow travelers is a great way to gather info–this summer it is scary. The only self supported riders we saw on the Slingshot were a very nice and determined couple we met as they climbed to Austin. They told us that they had come upon a road accident a few miles back and it was pretty unpleasant. As we talked the wrecker passed us carrying the ruin–it was an SUV that rolled so badly it looked like a giant muddy beer can. Great. The good news is that the driver should be fine. We saw a Tour rider in a coffeeshop in Salida as well. she had a big ace wrap on her right leg and was icing her knee while she charged devices and studied maps. Everyone is having a hard time but soldiering on in their fashion.

The Tour Divide is not for the faint of heart. It is over 2700 miles long and mostly on back country trails. The kits the riders use are very different from the sort of road touring outfits we use. For one thing, we ride touring bikes which are in essence beefy road racing bikes designed to carry weight. Touring bikes also have longer chain stays than do road bikes. This creates a longer wheel base making for a stable platform–road bikes can be really twitchy. Yeah. I am missing my road bike. A touring bike’s longer chain stays also mean that a rider’s heels won’t slam into rear panniers. The supported groups we saw along the way were all on road bikes–made heavy by two (count ’em, two) water bottles, meaning they could ride light and fast up hill and down while we slogged along with fully loaded self-supporting dump trucks. The Tour Divide riders are all on mountain bikes The have suspension and are designed to take the knocks of dirt trails. In recent years here has been an explosion of “bikepacking” bags and sacks makes to fit onto the frames of mountain bikes and their endurance cousins. They are a sort of ultralight counterpoint to touring bikes. Our panniers mount to the side of our front and rear wheels, whereas bikepacker bags are designed to stay in line–thus the bikes have a very slim profile head on, but make use of all sorts of spaces and voids in the frame. The Tour riders and their bikes we saw were all muddy. It looks like a proper ordeal.

Tomorrow morning we will break camp and head down to Pueblo. The deal with the truck was that we had to keep it for a week or pay an early return fine. I dunno. Sam, Chester, and Xander headed out on Friday so they will be one or two days ahead of us when we set out after our Hertz enforced break. The downtime may be a blessing. More chance to drive this flu away.

Man Plans, God Laughs Tour, 2017. Bike For Dago

Xander, Sam, and Chester are riding for a cause. They are raising funds to help children in Kenya go to highschool. They have a gofundme and a video here.

Man Plans, God Laughs Tour, 2017. Middlegate Station NV.

Riding the ACA Western Express Bike Route, 6-16-17

We made it. Happier words I have never typed. I sit in the Middlegate Station Roadhouse with the shadows lengthening while Rami plays pool. The low ceiling here is covered in dollar bills and this little cottonwood oasis–no really, it is an oasis–is covered with a creative hodgepodge of trailers, old buses, disused cars, and shiney RVs. This is THE place to be when passing this part of RT 50 and it seems that everyone who passes by stops for gas or food or something more restricted in some counties. We will spend our off-the-bike rest day here and so we opted for a room rather than a tent spot. The room is nice–a bit like a trailer–but it has beds and its own bathroom and the truth is that at 35 bucks it is a palace and we could not be happier. Lower cost short term lodgings is something we just don’t get in this country where everyone seems to want to be a big shot. Thank heaven some people still know the art of the clean low cost bed. 

 We began the morning late again (more about that later), but we were on the road by 8:30 am. We made a tidy little run into the oddly sleepy town of Fallon and stocked up. On the way in we saw a vernacular reminder of what is happening in the background of places like this. Meth–and perscription drugs too–are a plague: a scythe that is causing a lost white generation. African Americans saw their lost generation in the crack epidemic, but now the heavy handed sentences and lack of meaningful ways to help the wounded are twin barrels turned on white America–particularly in the hinterlands. I know that’s not the most insightful insight, but there are reminders of it everywhere. Rami–being a kid in the now and today–is unduly fascinated by this stuff. All of his peers are. From Breaking Bad (which I still refuse to watch despite many assurances that it is good), to a familiarity with the drug enthusiast’s patois, his generation are THE drug generation and we have made them be that. I read it as an innocent enough way to come to grips with it all and it is certainly good that he is talking about it all. I guess the problem would be should he stop talking. At any rate, his savior ne-fait-pas came in handy the other day in a convenience store. A gent strolled in and asked the Charge D’affairs if he had (and I quote) “86’ed the tweaker down by the river yet?” Monsieur le Patron replied “Oh Harris–yeah. I’ll take care of him.” Rami and I had a nice exchange of lingo. Growing up the 70s gifted me with an rich and nuisance understanding of CB and number codes–so 86 was as natural to me as is English–you copy? But what is a tweaker? Was Harris some Giapetto-like craftsperson using his skills to alter this or that into that or this? Or perhaps Harris had some sort of strange nipple fixation, and had simply tweaked one too many? No–my son informed me that Harris was in fact a consumer of meth. What Rami did not know though, was what 86 meant. I told him, and he understood. It was a big 10 4.

In Fallon we chatted with a very nice young woman with a beautiful baby. She told us a bit about the road ahead and even wanted to know what she could do to help out the many cyclists she sees on the road. Without missing a beat I said, offer them water: a fortuitous comment on my part, sadly. She was glad to know that though since she wanted to do something to be kind. And on that theme, she then insisted on paying for the food we were buying. I protested a few times but she insisted. It was a remarkably sweet thing to do. 

We hit the two convenience stores on our way out of Fallon and drank water at each one. We then headed into the desert. It was close to noon when we started the remaining 46 miles Middlegate. It was a singularly hot day and we rode through scorching salt flats and sandy valleys. We had two big climbs. Coming down at speed from the first we found ourselves behind a curious wagon pulled by four horses. It was gratifying to see that we were not the only non-gas-powered people on the road, and on we went. Soon though we hit trouble. With about 8 miles left to Middlegate we ran perilously low on water. We each were carrying about 3 liters and I also had a liter of club soda tied on. This has proven to be more than enough–but this is Nevada and we are entering a part of the state where stores and resupply are far apart–some stretches go for as far 68 miles with no amenities (or water) and many have hard climbs too. We were well-hydrated when we left the last store in Fallon, but about 40 miles later we were in trouble. We were both pretty sunburned too, despite sunblock. So here we were, no longer sweating and beginning the first signs of dehydration. Nevada really wanted to kill us today–but it was Nevadans who would not let it. 

We stopped at a road at the base of the second big climb. The road was flat and about 2 miles long. It led to a military instillation of some kind–we had been seeing jets and helicopters all day and most of the land here is government owned. I asked a guy who stopped at the sign if he had some water to spare. He said he did not, but he would radio back to the gate and they would let us fill up–at least they could fill our bottles for us. Great! We set off on a four mile diversion with supply dangerously low. We got the gate and the pig faced man there said no dice. Can’t come on the base. We don’t want to–can someone just fill a bottle for us?No, They said no. Can you fill one for us? No–I can’t leave the gate. You have a hose right there at the booth you are literally six feet from… No. Ok, thanks I said: our tax dollars at work, and we wheeled and left the reptile behind and set off to rerun the two added miles back to the base of the hill. We were still eight miles from our destination, but for thanks to four added miles we got to meet one of their nation’s greatest moral voids. As we rode back Rami and I talked about this. Rami has always been kind and that is his instinct and nature. It is rare that he meets with the real ugliness that some people possess where their soul or compassion should be. Here was a man, I said to Rami, who simply could not care less if you or I lived or died–our lives meant nothing to him. It is good to see the face of that sort of evil now and again just so that you know what you should never do. The good news is that he was old, and won’t be with us for all that much longer, while the woman in Fallon is going to raise a shiney new baby to be kind and generous. There is hope for a better future. 

At the end of the road though, we flagged down a truck and asked about water. A young man with a broad smile handed us a brand new full commercial water jug, saying it was ours to drink, and refused my offer of money to pay him back for the buy. We were not in desperate straights yet–but we were close and no doubt things would have been worse had we not met this second angel. This was our topic of conversation up the hill. Rami has long had a water angel story which he reminded me of, and I reiterated the Rabinnic idea that we are all angels to one another–even when we don’t know we are. The kindnesses we do often ripples in ways we can never see–but so does our ugliness–we just have to be ever mindful and very very careful.  10 4 good buddy.    

Sharks and Cacti in Suburbia

More from my on-going discussion of development in this part of Florida. Just FYI–Vlass is a development firm that walked all over a local plan. single person is responsible for the city’s downturn–even though elected officials presiding over it have the unenviable task of wearing failure–such is the nature of politics. Really though, the problems are very large and deep and historically rooted–and they are not unique to TT. For those who never considered the history of towns like these, you might want to read someone like James Howard Kunstler who has a very informed (though somewhat grim) understanding of the relevant histories. The long and short is that our kind of suburbia is an artificial creation–manufactured by federal government policy after WWII when there was a strong public desire to get as many families in tract homes as possible and sustained by preferential federal funding. Federal money fed mortgages and subsidized everything needed for suburban life from roads to the cost of gasoline. City turmoil in the 1960 accelerate suburban growth and by the 1980s firms were moving to “exurbs” since so much of the labor force lived there and found driving to be less fun than they had imagined. Federal funds for cities bottomed out (think NYC bankruptcy) as voters pulled those funds to the suburbs which only further accelerated the growth of suburbs. The accordion was stretching out its bellows. Suburban towns always had a hard time paying their way though and always looked to state and federal funds to infill. For much of the suburbs’ first 50 years of life, it was city dwellers who footed the bill so other people could have lawns.  But voters put in people who began to cut off Federal funds in the 1980s. Costs of running cities like ours piled up while the subsidies that made them possible dried up (think the Orange County Bankruptcy crisis). Taxes went down at the national level, but those cuts were more than made up for in new local taxes (the ones to infill the loss of Federal monies) and new “fees.” By the 1990s tax cutting in one arena made life more expensive for everyone through new taxes elsewhere and new fees all over the place–tax cuts always mean you will pay more for things–either in new taxes or out of pocket (think Lexus Lanes or the current Student Debt Crisis). Things like water had been seen as a public good and were funded that way. But by the 1990s these were increasingly seen as consumer choices–meaning the user bears the cost (which are always higher when privatized because someone must be making a profit–otherwise why do it at all?). As the quality of suburban life stagnated in the 1990s there also was a mass increase. Cheap land and mass development meant cheap homes for Americans whose real wages have not increased relative to the cost of living since 1970. In 1980 the minimum wage in today’s dollars was $16 and hour! New developments full of affordable homes exacerbated traffic and sprawl problems while the cost of living slowly went up and subsidy went down. In the 1950s, suburban life meant family and home–by the late 1990s it was two working parents sitting at the table fretting about how to pay all the bills. Children raised in this world wanted something else and they began to look with new eyes at the cities their parents and grandparents had abandoned. The accordion began to retract. In the 1990s it was suburbs that superseded cities in crime statistics and by the 2000s the drug problem was no longer an “urban” one, but one of the suburbs and even rural America (think meth). All the while, shrinking pools of government development and infrastructure monies went into cities as the gravity shifted away from the suburbs. Suburban dwellers who had been driven around for decades in a very comfy limo paid for by other folks suddenly had their driver stop, open their door, and ask them to step out of the car leaving them in a dry prickly desert next to a cactus. When the suburbanites said-“wait, I don’t know how to survive here….this was never the deal….?” the driver just tipped his cap, and said “not my problem buddy–pull yourself up by your boot straps,” closed the door and drove off. That is where we are. Having been built with outside support that support is now gone, we are forced to rely on skills and resources we never had. Every one of our structures still envisions a world manageable by gentleman amateurs who the voters ask only to allot the monopoly money. As Vlass and others have shown, in fact, we are minnows swimming with the sharks whose big friendly toothy smiles disguise what those teeth are really there for. On top of that–every similar city is in the same lifeboat and we are all glaring at each other waiting the chance to slit the other guy’s throat and scarf up that last can of water. Hockey players chip their teeth and politicians get blamed for things they cannot control–that is part of the job description and no one puts a gun to your head to make you take either job. But–we still need to grasp where we are how we got here if we are going to find a way to survive under this cactus.

Barbados Day Six (and Five Too) (Very late!)

I just noticed that this was in my drafts folder. No idea why…

Well, Day Five was a Saturday so that meant Saturday stuff including sleeping late, reading, napping, and taking a walk. Day Six though began with some interest. I was awakened around 7am by the smell of smoke. IMG_3103.JPGAt first I ignored it, but it got stronger and stronger. I went out into the living room and there was visible smoke in the room! Nothing seemed amiss, but I could see that two houses down someone had decided to set the yard on fire. They were burning dried palm fronds and yard waste, but the dry grass had caught fire and the two hapless yard enflamers were now using a garden hose to try to delineate a perimeter. The long and short of it is that the wind carried most of the smoke into my apartment. Windows closed and all was well—but everything smells of wood smoke.

With that matter settled I headed back up to the north end of the island to find some more old stuff and see the hills once more. Lots of driving for half the day again with an eighteenth-century map and some historical travel narratives as guides, and some old stuff was found. IMG_3109.JPGThere are lots of older buildings in varying state of ruin while some are very well cared for. All are in private hands though. My wanderings took me into some of the ritziest zones—the places where the homes cost 5 mil British pounds! I also found the very opposite, but that is pretty easy here. I was very interested to get to the highest points and one of my new friends—Adrian the Kisok Guy in this case—directed me to Harrison’s Cave in St Thomas Parish. I ferreted it out, but I did not want to pay money to see the cave, so what I really did was look for views on the hills. There are these sort of upland savannahs here that are a total contrast to what is on the lower altitudes and great views everywhere. I also sought out the older churches of which there are quite a few. Busy drive.

I recovered back at Oistins from too much road time for a bit and then thought that it made good sense to end this trip with an afternoon at the beach. Aviso: I am not a beach person. Growing up in Brooklyn we went to the beach once in a while when it was hot. The beaches of my formative years were made up of sand, chicken bones, cigarette butts, and plastic tampon dispensers all mixed in equal proportion. It was years before the idea of the beach did not leave me vaguely nauseated. The Outer Banks of NC helped me warm a bit to beaches—but just a bit—still covered in dead fish and plastic grocery bags. Florida has some nice beaches (so I am told) but I have not really found them yet—maybe the barrier islands near Pensacola. But the beach near where I am staying is actually very nice. Not many people, really clean pinkish sand, and the water was lovely (no condoms and cigarette butts floated by). I did the beach thing and then watched the sunset before going and buying more oranges. I am not going to be able to finish all I need to do on this trip. That means a return visit. Not the worst thing.

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